Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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