I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
