good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
