Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
It's blow job season.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
