Kiss
Puke
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
