Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
