I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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