is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
