From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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