I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
