Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She bit a glass in half.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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