I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
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