Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
