I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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