I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
