i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
