pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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