masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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