There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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