Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
