I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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