I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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