We're like a lot better than the average bears
its not stalking. its research.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
