Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
