Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
