dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
