So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
