I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I supernannyed him into submission
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I see more hoeing in ur future
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