I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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