I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
