you didnt know i had herpes?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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