Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
