you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talked him into tasing himself.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
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I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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