maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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