Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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