Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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