Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
