Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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