Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
