I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
My pussy is not your playground.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Can I color on your dick again?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
