Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
it was like eating out sand paper
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.