But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
