We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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