in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize