I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
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just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
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no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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