Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
even my farts smell like vagina
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
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