it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
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It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
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You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.