I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
