Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.