Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.