i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
