its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
