Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
