Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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