There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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