all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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