It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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