some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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