I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He better not be in your backpack
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
My vagina is very pro this idea
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